When we recognize our right to feel what we feel and really experience our emotions, the good and the bad, we connect to a deeper part of ourselves and allow real healing to occur.
This week has been full of the unexpected for me. My three year old was rushed to the ER and will subsequently need surgery next week, and an old friend has been declared missing. I’m normally in touch with my emotions, but this week a weird thing happened. I felt like I didn’t have the right to feel what I was feeling.
My sons ER trip ended in the best way it possibly could have, and we are extremely blessed that we didn’t end up in an emergency surgery situation. A part of me felt guilty for feeling so afraid and upset about his upcoming surgery when I know that the outcome could have been so much worse.
When I found out that my friend was missing, I had a horrible ache in my heart that has yet to go away, but logically I felt that it was selfish to be so upset myself when his family and close friends must be unconsolable.
But the truth is that every emotion I may be feeling, logical or not, is completely valid. I am scared. I am heartbroken.
While I am so incredibly grateful that my son was okay that night and didn’t need emergency surgery, it doesn’t take away my fear of his upcoming procedure.
This amazing man who was once an incredibly close friend will always have space in my heart even though we haven’t seen each other in a decade and our lives took different paths. Yes, my pain is different than the unimaginable pain his mother, father, brother and sister are feeling, but it doesn’t make it any less real.
I’ve talked to so many mothers who push aside feelings of fear, anxiety or doubt because they feel they should be grateful to experience motherhood at all. But the fear and doubt doesn’t cancel out the joy and excitement. To be scared doesn’t mean you are not incredibly grateful and happy. We are beautiful and complex and contradictory, and by honouring all of our emotions, we are honouring our entire selves.
Today, I wanted to share a simple meditation I do when I am feeling unsettled about a particular emotion or feeling I am having. It connects me to my authentic emotions and gets me out of my head, allowing me to move forward from a place of wholeness and light and let real healing begin.
If you have any meditation items you use, set them up to create a place of peace for yourself. I set up my meditation blanket, burn some palo santo or sage and set the intention of the meditation while holding my mala beads and favorite stone.
- Repeat silently or out loud your intention for the meditation:
“ I set the intention for this meditation to tune me into my truest emotions allowing myself to move forward from a place of love, peace and acceptance”
- Sit comfortably with your legs crossed. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, witnessing but not judging your breath.
- Feel the cool air entering your nostrils and the warm air exiting.
- Bring your focus to what has been bothering you and bring your awareness to the physical sensations in your body.
- Settle your awareness on any tension or restriction in your body. Feel it without judgement. You may experience fear, anxiety or joy. Let each come to you organically and feel the physical manifestation of your emotion.
- Sit with this feeling until it begins to subside
- Once the feeling starts to subside, imagine with each inhale a bright light filling the area with acceptance and love. Exhale any remaining tension.
- When you are ready bring your awareness back to your breath and spend a few moments absorbing the meditation.
- Close your meditation by thanking your body for guiding you to your authentic emotions.
“Thank you for allowing me to see my true feelings without judgement. I accept my true emotions with love and compassion”
It is my intention that we all embrace and accept ourselves as the complex, beautiful and sometimes contradictory women and mothers that we are lucky to be. Click here to listen to the guided meditation from Heather.
Heather Mudry is the founder of Mama Malas, creating mala beads and intentional accessories that support women on the journey of motherhood. She lives in Calgary, AB with her three year old son, husband and pup and is obsessed with coffee, bonfires, mountains and the moon. She believes every mother deserves to feel radiant, adore her life and create her own path and strives to foster a community of mindful mamas that encourage and support each other to live according to their intuitions and desires.